What’s that you say, snuggly nubbins? You don’t think How-Tos are funny? Or even worse, you don’t “get” them? Well then today is your lucky day. It’s like the village is only half on fire today! Don’t think this will happen again though. The TPS reports will start the burnination very soon. Click HERE for MORE! »

Remember when you were a kid, first learning to read? And every time you were in a car, you would attempt to read every single sign and advertisement possible? And then you’d inevitably get carsick and feel like it was time to say hello again to the omelette you’d eaten earlier that morning? Maybe that’s why I hate reading now. Click HERE for MORE! »

This How-To is opprobriously similar to Bob Vila: sometimes it hurts to be the best. Kind of like when you’re trying to be all tough and you open a twist off bottle cap only to find it’s not a twist off and you need to wash your hands because they’re covered in freedom fry grease.
Click HERE for MORE! »

This one time the manager bought two pints of blueberries and two boxes of rice crispies (not tm). I wonder if he was going to pour it all over the sweater puppies he keeps under his desk. Oh those poor sweater puppies, always dripping something.
Click HERE for MORE! »

I found a little secret. Usually there is some conversational dribble expected on a visit to the office water cooler. But Now every time my tongue has a hankerin’ for some cold crisp contraband, I just start hyperventilating. People don’t expect you to talk when you’re out of breath, turning red, and have happy schitzophrenic butterflies in your food tub.
Click HERE for MORE! »

“Let’s get physical” would never have been a hit if it was really about getting a physical. No one in their right mind wants to hear Olivia Newton John say, “Turn your head and cough.” Theres something distinctly un-sexy about sitting on one of those physician seats with the paper sticking to your clamminess.
Click HERE for MORE! »

Have you ever taken a one of those fancy-schmancy electric muffin bakers and just kept on stuffing them with chinchillas? You’d be amazed how much those things compress once you crunch down all the fur. It’s like they’re playing a little game of hide and seek inside their own skin!
Click HERE for MORE! »

Stompy does a number 10 in the middle of the city. Just watch it. Trust us.

 
Click HERE for MORE! »

What’s that? Why didn’t we post a How-To on Tuesday? BECAUSE TUESDAY IS MADE OF PEOPLE, YOU SICK CANNABALISTIC HUMANOID UNDERGROUND DWELLERS! And now to appease you people-eating people-eaters, we somewhat proudly present the first exclusive collector’s edition How-To double header! Two comics, NOT MADE OF PEOPLE.
Click HERE for MORE! »